Celebrity Alert

Victoria and David Beckham (or Posh'n'Becks as they're known to loyal courtiers of ChavCountry, where they are the long-term rulers) are launching a unisex perfume called Intimately Beckham. It all seems so 2004: I wonder how many women have already sampled the product? I can imagine what the scent will be like: top notes of silicone, medium notes of orange fake tan and hair gel, with base notes of paparazzi and desperation. Overall, an expensively-priced perfume that will smell cheap - but it will be well marketed.